Even the most confident and capable individual experiences self doubt and participates in the act of overthinking. This is a normal part of the human experience. 

As an experienced emotional intelligence and confidence coach, I have worked with countless people from the student just starting out, to the mother who is trying to break back into the workforce, to the CEO who is managing many public speaking engagements and trying to push her career ahead. I have seen the effects of how chronic overthinking can hold even the most capable women back. 

Overthinking erodes your confidence, creates unnecessary stress, and keeps you from achieving your full potential. Now this may have you asking me if this is a part of the normal human experience how can we ever be confident?

The good news is, in my many years of personal and professional experience in my own personal development journey and with my clients – I have found resounding evidence that awareness leads to growth. So by taking the time to understand the true nature of your self-critical questions, you will be able uncover the underlying issues that fuel them. By identifying these root causes, you will empower yourself to address your self criticism and over-thinking head-on, paving the way for greater confidence and a more self-assured life.

Here are 3 Common Self-Critical Comments, What They Really Mean, and How to Overcome Them.

Learn to Identify Self-Doubt, Break Through It, and Build Unshakable Confidence and Self-Assuredness!

1. “Why do I always overthink everything?”

If you find yourself asking this, you might be caught in a cycle of second-guessing every decision and analyzing every detail. Overthinking often stems from a fear of making mistakes or being judged. It’s rooted in a desire for perfection and a lack of trust in your own judgment, which can trap you in an endless loop of indecision.

How to recognize and face it:
Take time to think through your decisions, but trust your gut instincts. By making decisions mindfully, you’ll begin to build confidence in your choices. If you find yourself second guessing a decision, remind yourself that not all decisions are perfect, and understand that mistakes are a natural part of growth.  Everyone makes mistakes, and they provide valuable opportunities for learning and growth. Instead of dreading the consequences, embrace them as part of your journey toward becoming more confident and self-assured.

2. “Why can’t I / you just stop worrying about what everyone else thinks?”

This question often arises when you find yourself paralyzed by the fear of judgment. Worrying about others’ opinions can lead to overanalyzing your actions and decisions, trying to anticipate and please everyone, which is impossible. This worry is often a symptom of low self-esteem and a lack of self-acceptance. It suggests that you are giving too much power to others’ opinions, placing their approval above your own needs and values.

How to recognize and face it:
Remember, you can’t control how others see you, and their opinions often say more about them than about you. Focus on what truly matters to you, and make decisions that align with your own values. When you stay true to yourself, you’ll find that other people’s judgments start to matter less. Be kind to yourself—build your self-esteem with positive affirmations and practice self-compassion. The more you do, the more confident and secure you’ll feel in your own skin.

3. “Why do I / you always have to be so accommodating? Can’t you just say no?”

If this question resonates with you, it might be because you often prioritize others’ needs over your own, even to your detriment. Over-accommodating behavior can be a way to avoid conflict or seek approval, but it often leads to resentment and burnout. This behavior is typically a symptom of people-pleasing tendencies and again a fear of rejection or disapproval. It suggests that you might not be valuing your own needs and boundaries enough, leading to a loss of self-confidence.

How to recognize and face it:
Learn to set boundaries and practice assertiveness. Start small by saying no to requests that don’t align with your priorities or that you simply don’t have the capacity to handle. Remember that your worth is not determined by how much you do for others. By respecting your own needs, you will build self-respect and confidence.

If you’re asking yourself these questions, it’s time to recognize them as symptoms of chronic overthinking. 

By understanding what they truly mean and taking steps to address the underlying issues, you can break free from the cycle of overthinking and build a more confident, self-assured version of yourself. Remember, confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about trusting yourself and embracing your imperfections as part of your unique journey.

What are some questions you ask yourself that you feel are a symptom of self doubt, being overly critical of yourself and could be damaging your self confidence? 

I would love to help you work through them. 

Stay Elegant,

Taylor Elizabeth