I am so excited to launch my new series – The Elegant Response.

Have you ever been asked an impolite question and you want to clap back but you just aren’t sure what to say?
I have designed this series to help you form an elegant response, that respects your desire to take the high road while remaining to assert your boundaries!

You can <<watch>> today’s episode? Or you can continue reading below!

“What do you do all day?”

This question is often asked of people who either stay at home, do not work, are stay-at-home parents, or are unemployed.

This question is impolite.

It’s impolite because to the person being asked, it can feel dismissive of their responsibilities, or that you are making assumptions about the person and their situation.  Historically this question carries a little judgment, that they are lazy, not trying or what they are doing with their life is of little importance.

Do not ask people this question. If you are curious about what someone does there are other ways to ask that are more appropriate and less presumptuous.

So, how do we respond to this impolite question elegantly?

1. Take a step back 
   Remind yourself that you do not want to respond emotively rather you would like to respond constructively. Take a moment by taking a breath, gather your composure by counting to ten, and then respond.
2. Give the benefit of the doubt 
   Perhaps this person did not have the intention of being judgmental, projecting, or dismissive. Maybe they misspoke, or it came out wrong. It is kinder to yourself to give the benefit of the doubt, than to spiral into a negative thought pattern.

The Elegant Response

You have options for how to handle this depending on the situation and how you feel. In your words:

• Give us a succinct answer
  • Tell them how busy you are.
• Make a joke
  • Make a joke – but never at their expense. This lightens the mood and allows you to smile and change the subject. “There isn’t a panner big enough to help me organize my days” “Seems I am mostly a taxi driver these days.”
• Set a boundary
  • If you feel that this person is intentionally trying to be impolite, or is crossing a line…
    • Show appreciation & ask a question – “Well, thank you so much for being curious, may I ask you why you’re asking?”
  • Answering the question and addressing that you do not wish to discuss it in more detail will express a boundary and close the topic.

The idea behind the elegant response is that if you have a strategy for knowing how to respond, with time and practice it will become easier and easier to respond to others with elegance, take the high road, and assert your boundaries with ease!

I hope you have found this helpful as you strive to be an elegant individual in the way you interact with others
and the way you construct your Elegant Response.

I look forward to posting more of these amazing suggestions I have received from the community! Please feel free to email your suggestions to info@theeleganceadvisor.com. I love to stay in touch with the community so please do also feel free to subscribe to my newsletter The Elegant Tone.

Stay Elegant,