Many people ask me if they have to let people walk all over them in order to have good etiquette and the answer is simple. No.
This week’s edition of The Elegant Tone is all about focusing on being elegant while remaining assertive.
What is being assertive?
Being assertive is expressing your beliefs, feelings, and ideas in a manner in which you’re being honest & direct but we will do this in a way in which you are not infringing upon the rights of other people.
Being assertive is different than being aggressive which does not take into consideration the feelings of others, or the impact of your behavior on other people.
So how can we state our point of view and be more assertive and elegant in doing so? Here are my top tips for achieving that:
Be Kind and use “I vs. You’
When you have to express disagreement or conflict instead of accusations speak about your perception and opinion. We are not dancing around the issue, we are addressing the issue head-on and saying there’s a problem and we need to resolve it.
Respecting yourself and communicate your boundaries in a respectful manner.
For example: If somebody is always canceling on you, instead of just letting it continually happen simply say,
“I appreciate that you want to see me, I would really like to see you as well. The last couple of meetings have had to be canceled could we please make sure we find a time that works for your schedule so that this doesn’t happen this time?”
Do not be afraid to ask for what you want.
It’s okay to ask for the things that you need and want. Instead of demanding, express your desires.
How do you assert yourself kindly? Have you had to do this recently? I would love to hear your stories!
This week there is no live mini-class, however, I may pop in LIVE from Dubai Expo so if you have any questions please dm me!
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